by all means call out john green on his bullshit don’t stand for one bit of it but while you’re at it don’t throw the 13 year old girls who read his books under the bus with him for crying over fictional boys and photoshopping flower crowns onto things and blogging about their social anxiety protect them at all fucking costs
people who dont wet their toothbrush before using it are strange and should not be trusted
In the delivery room
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
- judge: why did you kill that man
- me: it's a metaphor
- judge: oh....ok lol
Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.